Um...shut the hell up.

Picture this. I'm sprinting my daughter into her school trying to avoid talking to anyone for too long. I'm bra less, haven't brushed my teeth and I am WAY late. Then, one of "those" moms stops me. I try to avoid these women at all cost. They are the moms that share. I enjoy sharing, I enjoy hearing about people BUT not ever do I share some of the things that these moms do upon first meeting. I don't want to know how their last pelvic exam felt nor do I care that their husband gave them a nasty rash on parts I would rather not hear about. She talks about her children, he husband, her pets, her friends (and I am seriously wondering if she includes every person she pounces on her "friend")...her sex life. So. Just when I think I have an out I get, "So, I think I gave my daughter a yeast infection in her mouth." WAIT. WHAT? How the hell does that even freakin' happen? I know that curiosity killed the cat and all that what not BUT really. I found myself frozen. Unable to run or change the subject. So, Mrs. Over share says..."the doctor said it's probably because I don't wash my hands after I wipe and then feed her and prepare her food or something like that. I have a REALLY nasty yeast infection." Um....gross. Okay, I realize things are part of life. I. Get. That. But, you don't share that. No ma'am, you do not. And just when I thought I was going to be able to run away she says, "Well, I guess that's why my husband won't have sex with me." WTF. Maybe, just maybe, he won't have sex with you because the whole time he's going to town your running your damn mouth about the fact that you GAVE YOUR CHILD A YEAST INFECTION BECAUSE YOU DON'T WIPE YOUR LADY PARTS! Really. Some people should shut the hell up.