Wieners...and I don't mean the dog.

It doesn't seem to matter the age of the man, they are ALL obsessed with their wieners. Whether it's my husband gesturing towards his "man parts" with raised eyebrows and a knowing smile or my son telling a family friend the he is going to "punch his nuts out of his mouth and then punch them back down" (cute, right?), they all at some point feel the urge to comment. My sons find great joy in fake hitting themselves in their wenis's (not sure why they call them that, at least they are close) and then rolling on the ground proclaiming "ohhhhhh my nuts!" My husband and his buddies think it's hilarious to sling shit at each other about the size of their "dicks". Little boys revel at the fact that they can write their names with their pee on anything that stands still, except the toilet. Men associate athletic ability with the size of their bulge and little boys become fascinated with their extra appendage in diapers. And I don't understand their need to constantly "adjust" their packages, I'm fairly positive they are just making sure it's still there in case they need to make a big decision. Perhaps women should try it out! We can drop hints by grabbing at our lady parts and raising our eyebrows and on girls nights we can drink a bottle of wine and talk about who has the biggest lula or we can try to finagle free drinks from bar tenders by yelling across the bar "I have a HUGE vagina!" I mean, that's a good thing, right?